Let your moderation [gentleness] be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand.
Be careful [anxious] for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
I made it through the court hearing on Friday. Thank you so much for your prayers...the Lord's presence was definitely felt in that courtroom.
It was a sobering moment to see my husband--the man I married 23 years ago--looking so unlike himself. He didn't look awful, just not the man I've known all these years. And what an odd moment when our eyes met, for the first time since December and all I could squeak out was a very small, "Hi."
Of course what I wanted to say (or more like scream) was....Why are you doing this? To God. To us. To our children and families? Why? Is she really worth it?
And I'll be honest, I've been in sort of a funk since Friday. I've been focusing way too much on negative things--on all the what if's, the lies, the hurts, the uncertain future--and trying desperately to figure out the answers.
So in the quietness of this morning, my Jesus met me. He reminded me of His unending love for me, His mercy and His sufficient grace--even in the face of rejection from the man I've loved for so many years--my Savior loves me. That will never change.
And because of that truth, I can rejoice today. I do not rejoice in my circumstances, but I rejoice in the One who loves me and died for me. The One who sees each tear and holds it. My Jesus. I rejoice in Him.
The reality is I have so many blessings and so much to be thankful for...I just have to look around...
My sweet Zach...
My baby girl...Ashleigh. And her awesome husband. John has been amazing through this whole thing!
Troy and Merritt...they always bring a smile to my face. Always..JPG)
The love and support from family....JPG)
And good friends.
Beautiful desert mornings...with snow covered mountains.
And gorgeous desert sunsets.
Making pancakes with Troy...
And if I could post a picture of all of you--my bloggy friends--I would. Y'all are such a huge blessing and bring me joy. Thank you so much for your prayers, emails, cards and support. God is using you and I am thankful.
Blessings and love to you...
30 comments:
I am sorry for your pain and the yucky stuff. Keeping you in my prayers.
Hugs and continued prayers are being sent your way. ;)
Mishel,
I am just seeing this and I am so sorry. I know words are meaningless at a time like this and I have been where you are and oh it does hurt but I am so thankful that you are sharing your heart.
I made the huge mistake of not doing that and just trying to keep everything in and that was not a wise decision. God made us to need one another and to support one another not to try and shoulder something this heavy alone.
You are still in shock I am sure. I know for me, I wrestled with the fact that I had no memories of my life without my ex in it and that was so hard. Even when I tried to think of other things I couldn’t because “he” was in all my memories. Since you were together so long, I am sure it will be the same for you. It doesn’t seem like it now but it does get better.
God will be faithful to you my friend. He is a husband to the husbandless and that I know for a fact. I will be keeping you and your family in my prayers.
Big Hugs,
Lyndy
Prayers on your behalf. May Christ be your strength.
Ella
Bow the Knee
There are moments on our journey following the Lord
Where God illumines ev’ry step we take.
There are times when circumstances make perfect sense to us,
As we try to understand each move He makes.
When the path grows dim and our questions have no answers, turn to Him.
*Bow the knee;
Trust the heart of your Father when the answer goes beyond what you can see.
Bow the knee;
Lift your eyes toward heaven and believe the One who holds eternity.
And when you don’t understand the purpose of His plan,
In the presence of the King, bow the knee.
There are days when clouds surround us, and the rain begins to fall,
The cold and lonely winds won’t cease to blow.
And there seems to be no reason for the suffering we feel;
We are tempted to believe God does not know.
When the storms arise, don’t forget we live by faith and not by sight.
Mishel,
Seeing your words brought anew tears & pain from our recent ordeal. I am so sorry for the pain, that's been caused. I thank God that He is our Comforter and pray that he continues to comfort you and your family during this time.
~Rebekah
Oh, dear sweet friend, my heart is aching for you. You are ever in my prayers. And the love of Jesus is the love that NO one can ever separate you from. Keep holding fast to that love.
(((((Mishel))))) I know it's not easy to rejoice but the Lord is pleased when we are thankful. Praying for you.
As I was reading your post Mishel, it brought to mind one of my most favorite worship songs. I've listened to it many atimes since Rachel's birth...
I love the version by Fernando Ortega the best, titled, The Joy of the Lord.
The Joy of the Lord
The joy of the Lord will be my strength
I will not falter, I will not faint
He is my Shepherd, I am not afraid
The joy of the Lord is my strength
The joy of the Lord,
The joy of the Lord,
The joy of the Lord is my strength
The joy of the Lord will be my strength
He will uphold me all of my days
I am surrounded by mercy and grace
And the joy of the Lord is my strength
The joy of the Lord,
The joy of the Lord,
The joy of the Lord is my strength
The joy of the Lord will be my strength
I will not waiver, walking by faith
He will be strong to deliver me safe
The joy of the Lord is my strength
The joy of the Lord,
The joy of the Lord,
The joy of the Lord is my strength
The Lord is your Rock, your Sure Foundation! In HIM are all worthy things found. How blessed is His Name in all the earth.
<><
I'm so thankful your children were with you during this court week. I'm so thankful too that John was by your side throughout the hearing. I can't imagine how difficult it was, Mishel. (((hug)))
Continuing in prayer,
jAne
Love You Mishel!
love and (((hugs))) Aunt Mishel....
Mishel,
I'm just so, so very sorry for you and your family. I will continue in prayer that God will grab a hold of your husband's heart and restore your family. And in thankfulness for the moments of peace and comfort.
I love you so much!!!!!
Mishel-
You don't know me, but we serve the same Jesus Christ, I know that for sure. I have been a lurker at your blog and commented a couple of times at Ashleigh's blog, but for the most part I am a computer couch potatoe--just sitting here with the remote click, click, click but never getting up to encourage.... For that I am sorry. I wanted to tell you that when you first posted about this I was brought to tears. The Holy Spirit moved on me in a way that I have never experienced. And I immediately went boldly into the throne room on behalf of your family and for your husband. Much of my pain was for the destruction that Satan has waged on your husbands life... Wow. Is really all I could say and then pray for God to open his eyes to the deception and the lies that the father of lies is ensnaring him with. That is the only way that this could be happening to a family that TOTALLY serves the One True God. He(satan) roams about as a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour. This has been a very heartwrenching reminder that he is always lurking about and working at destroying us(the body of Christ). I am SO sorry for the pain that you are enduring--I think that the Lord allowed me(a complete stranger to you) to bare some of it as even now my heart aches for you and your family. Literally, aching in my heart for you... I am telling you this because(as you probably already know) God has you in the cleft of the Rock--you are being lifted up so that you do not dash your foot, only Jesus Christ can use these trials in our lives for His glory.... I am praying for all of you. God bless you and keep you.
Sincerely a sister in Jesus Christ,
Sarah T
My heart aches for you. I'll be praying that God will bring you much beauty from these ashes. I'm so glad you have so many sweet blessings in your life to love you through this.
I'm smiling through the tears...LOVE YOU! And, may I just add, YOU are so *beautiful*!! Loving these pics!
Mishel, I don't know what to say.... I'm just so sorry you have to go through what you're going through right now. I wish there was a way to erase all the problems, the hurts and the pain you're experiencing. You're attitude though is such an inspiration to me. I'm praying for you.... (((HUG)))
Love you, Mishel. You remain constant in my prayers. connie
Precious Woman.
You know prayers never cease for you and your family here in this home, and in this heart.
I am doing a Bible study and something in it made me think of you.
First was Genesis 4:6-7"But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it."
This is such a reality and a painful one. Sin is like a roaring lion, ready to devour it tells us in 1 Peter 5:8.
But the very next day, our verse was 2 Chronicles 16:9For the eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.
There is hope for us.
I know you are struggling, but my prayer for you and your beautiful children is that your hearts will be fully committed to HIM. Even when you can't, HE will carry you, if you rest in HIM.
And we will continue to pray for your husband, this is such a spiritual battle for his soul. May JESUS be victorious.
I can assure you that no, "she" isn't worth what he's giving up. He will eventually realize that, but it's generally too late when that happens. I've watched many divorces through the years and I'm always amazed at what a man (or woman) is willing to give up, in order to fulfill a selfish and self-centered desire. It's staggering.
Looking for the silver linings is the best you can do for now. Having two sisters who've gone through divorces (after 20+ years of marriage), I know how difficult that can be.
Praying for you...I know I have been repeating that over and over but I can't just not comment on your new post. But the only thing I can think of is I am praying for you...and indeed I am praying!
Ginger~
Keep your chin up girl. You are so worth it! Your life holds such value to so many wonderful people! Still praying for you! What a beautiful & supportive family you have!
Salut Mishel !
I have to say you have a very beautiful family! and very loving. Your grandchildren are so adorable! And oui, Jesus loves you so much. You are still in my prayers and my husband too.
avec amour ,
Marie
We're still praying. Hang in there.
Vickie
Mishel,
I mostly lurk and pray but I have been lifting you and your family up in prayer and hurt so much for your pain. Today I was watching yesterday's James Robison's program that I had recorded with Beth Moore. It was something that really impacted me alot but I also thought of you. I just found a transcript of it so thought I would tell you. If you go to www.lifetoday.org/beth then click television/then calendar & online media/then daily program/then March 4th. you can read it. Or watch it too I presume. I already see God's grace on you and your family. And this may not be anything you are interested in. Just know that you are in my heart and prayers.
Ann
I'm praising God that you are praising in God and experiencing joy in Him, yet I do not forget to pray for you and everyone in your family who is hurting.
I am so sorry for your pain and I am keeping you in my prayers. My heart goes out to you.
I'm thinking of you this morning and lifting you and yours up in prayer, Mishel. God, in His amazing love and mercy, has you enfolded in His strong embrace. Lean into Him all the more.
I began a new blog - this one's public. Come visit, if you have the time and inclination. :o)
http://tickleberryfarm.blogspot.com
blessings,
jAne
you don't know me, but i have a suggestion ...
when you don't know what else to say to him, say you love him.
not in a pleading, come-back-to-me way ... just in a i'll-love-you-no-matter-what way.
because he can never take that away from you.
and as an added benefit, it might make him wake up and realize what he's doing sooner. but that's not the goal. the goal is just to love no matter what, because that is how God loves him. that is how God loves all of us. this is an opportunity to know what it is like to love one who does not deserve it, and thus to get a glimpse of how God must feel.
please. keep loving him. remember love is stronger than pain.
i'm praying for you both.
(i hope this is not too weird. i just felt like i needed to say it.)
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